Purpose People

I am not sure why, but I woke up this morning in a very philosophical and introspective mood. Probably, it is just because I just have too much time on my hands now that I don't have German class 5 days a week. Time is never good for us over-analyzers. Nonetheless, instead of going outside, enjoying the sunshine and taking a walk (probably the more positive thing to do), I started seriously asking myself the difficult questions.

The first conclusion that I very quickly came to was that many/most of us make no real difference at all in the world through our careers. Some of us are doctors or researchers who treat cancer, deliver babies and save lives. Some of us become presidents and save (or fuck up) the world around us. Some of us invented things like the internet. But, for 95% of us all we can do is rationalize our way into feeling like what we are doing matters. The truth is, that most of us are just here to help this well-oiled machine run until the next generation can come along and take over. And as Sonny and Cher once sang, the beat goes on.

Of course, this realization is just a little bit depressing, so I wrote to my boyfriend, Peter, to ask him what he thought his purpose on this earth was. I was hoping for a little inspiration. He wrote back saying that "of course, if you look at it globally most of us don't have a purpose at all," but, he said, it's in our communities, our families, our groups of friends that we really make a difference. It is on the small scale that we can find a sense of meaning and purpose.

Now, this has typically always been my stance on life, as well. I guess I had just forgotten it for a moment and gotten caught up in the desire for something grand. But, once Peter reminded me, it all started to become clear again. We are all here for each other. And that is a huge responsibility and a much more important one than we let ourselves believe. It's how the world worked and how people found their purpose before the internet and before medicine. And, maybe it is enough. We all keep each other afloat, warm each others' hearts, give each other experiences and love, reasons to laugh and reasons to cry. We may make our communities a better place and fill others' hearts with love or gratitude. We maybe help in the smallest of ways. But, the point is, it is all for each other.

So, there are a couple of people that I need to thank. They give me a sense of purpose and I hope that I give them a sense of purpose, too. I hope I have made their lives better because they certainly have made mine better. My mother, my father and my sister (and my JJ) are amazing and I feel like I could spend the rest of my life trying to repay them for all the joy they have brought to my life. My wonderful extended family, my Grandpa Jim, my Aunt Janet and Aunt Anita who have been more than just Aunts to me; my Aunts Mary, Lori and Nancy and my millions of cousins on my dad's side of the family who have showed me what it is to support and love one another no matter how many of us there are to love and support; my best friend Danielle who has been my best friend forever and with whom I will hopefully share smiles and decorating tips for the rest of my life; Danielle's family who all have a heart of gold and who have been a second family to me; my friend Brittany who is always down to talk; my friend Lily who is always down to listen; my friend Ben who is always down for just about anything; my friends from Auburn who I lost touch with during college but who are all amazing people; Peter's family who have been my family in Germany; and Peter, who has changed they way I look at men for the better and who has shown me the meaning of companionship and has filled my heart with love for almost 3 years. All these people set good examples for finding one's purpose. And I feel blessed to have you all in my life.

Whether or not I can continue to fulfill my purpose from Germany (and if so, then how) is for another time and place. But, I hope I can continue to make a positive impact on all these people's lives...even if from far away. Because you have all made a very positive impact on mine!

Spring Awakening

As the days get longer and the birds get louder, Germany is once again becoming pleasurable. I am sure there are foreigners here who do not mind the long, hard winters here, but I absolutely do. Well, at least the 5 months of winter we still have left after Christmas. But, there is a light (and a lot of chirping) at the end of the tunnel and it's getting me all excited for German summer (which is by far the best time of year here).

Since moving here, I have felt like an anthropologist studying an exotic culture. Unlike in California, where the bright (and often quite warm) winter sunshine leaves people outside 12 months a year, Germans, like bears, go into hibernation in the winter months. The warm, cozy homes with a TV, an oven and some well-working radiators, become their dens and the people hunker down their as the snow blows around them and the temperatures anyone who does venture outdoors into an ice sculpture. Only the brave (i.e. the young who drink so much Jägermeister that they can't feel their arms freeze off anyway) take this risk. The rest of us wrap ourselves up in our warm blankets in our warm homes, and like bears, rest the winter away.

But, then comes the first warm-ish day of late winter. With the temperatures above freezing and the sun a shining, the German people (and I mean every last one) venture out of their dens and into the world. And the next 4 months are one big party. (Yes, 4 months. That is all spring/summer/reasonably nice weather you get here...if you are lucky.)

I don't think the German people sleep during this time. I know they don't sleep much, anyway. And I think they spend their entire year's worth of income on going out, sitting in the beer garden, and most excitingly, on all the parties. Here in our little town, we have the Samba Festival, Schlossplatzfest, a summer concert series, overnight flea markets and, as summer wanes, a museum night. There are people biking everywhere (it is very dangerous to be a driver), the beer gardens are always crowded (as are the ice cream stands), and when the sun finally sets at 10 pm on a July evening, there are people packing the bars and clubs. Life is completely different; Germany is full of life.

These months here are my favorite and they usually make up for the dullness of the long (and freakishly cold) winter months. They're also the best time to visit Germany. If you ever want to come visit me (and how could you not want to after that colorful and exciting description of summer in Germany) you should definitely come between June and August (our 3 months of acceptable weather). We well rested and newly woken German bears promise to show you a good time.

A Tea Pot, Tagalongs and Law and Order

A cozy late winter night in Bavaria. Ate pasta (aglio e olio) for dinner, after a long day of doing projects around the house. As most of you know (since, you, my parents are the only ones that read this) I spent the day rearranging all my furniture, hanging up new art projects and being creative.

Now it's chill time. Of course, chill time wouldn't be complete with out a cup of tea. And for a nice change of pace today, I brought out my little tea pot, tea cup and saucer. So, I am sitting in my newly rearranged (and totally cozy) living room, with my pot of tea and some Girl Scout Cookies--Tagalongs, Samoas and Thin Mints--and a little Law and Order: SVU.

This is new, our fancy cable TV. Peter and I got it for ourselves for Christmas. It's nice to have the option now to watch shows in their original language. Nothing makes me feel more at home than Law and Order. Yes, SVU is creepy, but it reminds me of Friday nights in high school, post football game. It's been quite a nice evening. Although it would be better if my Boo Boo was home.

****

All this work on my apartment today has left me feeling very created and inspired. Not to mention frustrated. There are so many lovely things that Germany has that the U.S. does not (beer gardens, castles, krapfen); but, when it comes to salvaged home stuff is by far the bigger treasure chest. I have yet to find one salvage yard, Salvation Army-type store or garage sale. Sometimes I am lucky and find the odd treasure (like my awesome green floral chair!) on the street. But, mostly, there is no place to go to find cool, cheap, used goods! So, today I turned to ebay and made my first purchase on ebay.de. Hopefully sometime next week I will be the proud owner of some funky wood, dachshund-shaped book ends!

Additionally, all this made me think that perhaps I am missing my calling here in Germany. Maybe opening a salvage store should be in my German future. Maybe, I should do the refurbishing of salvaged stuff myself and sell it for big bucks online. It's time to start creating!

Almost Spring

The Sunshine List

Another cold, late winter weekend in Oberfranken. The clouds hung dark and heavy over Coburg all weekend and we never made it above freezing. Despite the fact that we have seen a few the first hints of Spring--little green sprouts, more and more sunny days--this weekend has made winter feel never ending. I am starting to fantasize about the smell of green grass, the loud, excited song of the birds, and the never ending sea of colors of spring flowers. So, with my blooming daffodils on every window sill, I am starting spring early this year. From now on, I will be celebrating spring! Bring on the color and sunshine.

Here is a list of things that I love and that bring me color and sunshine (no matter how evil German weather is trying to be). Make your own list. I promise it will make you feel lucky as a leprechaun. :-)

1. Weekends or any day that I get to hang out with Peter. He's fun, funny and always leaves a smile on my face. I could cook and eat all day everyday with him!

2. My family. The best ever. Enough said.

3. Animals - I LOVE National Geographic Wild, and the pictures you get when searching "baby animals" on Google, and my dog J.J., and all dogs ever.

4. Fresh food and healthy eating. Peter and I have really been on a health kick lately. We are cooking a lot and trying to use as many fresh/healthy ingredients as possible. Our latest amazing dishes have included middle eastern chicken with hummos, salad and flat bread, flavorful turkey burgers with baked sweet potato fries, and delicious breakfasts of yogurt and fruit or whole wheat english muffins with my new love, hard boiled eggs. What is not to love about treating your body right? (For exceptions see #9.)

Continuing on that theme...

5. Yoga. Okay, it's not ballet or jazz or lyrical (my true passions) but, it is a nice, inexpensive second considering my resources right now. I have no money and have tons of yoga dvds downloaded on to my computer. Yoga keeps me fit and relaxed, from the comfort of my living room, for the cheap price of 0 Euros a month.

6. Pastels, my newest art medium. I suck at them but they are fun and don't require the set up that painting does. I can use them when I only have a half an hour extra time.

7. King of Queens. Hilarious and sweet. Now that I have a live-in-boyfriend, I get what those marriage sitcoms are all about.

8. Loose leaf green tea.

9. Krapfen (Berliner) the best baked good the Germans ever made (basically a jelly-filled doughnut).

10. Reading and writing my journal.

Despite the steel gray clouds that have kept the sun away all weekend long, this Sunshine List makes my mood feel full of color, happiness and love. Circumstances only get you down if you let them. And here is to not letting them.

California Dreamin', On Such a Winter's Day

As a Californian, February is by far the most difficult month for me in Germany. While all my friends and family back home enjoy their sunny, spring-like (and sometimes summer like days), I am freezing my ass off in a gray world of clouds and snow. Springtime comes early in California; winter is short. By February it is not at all uncommon to have a handful of days or more about 65 degrees (18 Celsius)...people wear their shorts, my sister goes to the beach and sunbathes, everyone is happy.

This is at the same time that we here in Germany are in the deep, dark midst of winter. The days are getting longer, but that doesn't mean they are any more light. The only colors that exist are dark gray, light gray and medium gray. There's a little rain, a little snow and a whole lot of wet. For most Germans this is just normal. For a Californian, this is hell on earth.

This is not to say that I actually feel like I am in a living hell. The weather is terrible but I like to keep my chin up. So, this Californian has to be a little creative. How do you brighten up your days when there is no sun to be found? Well, for starters, I fill my inside world with color. It may be gray outside but the inside of my apartment is filled with flowers and plants of all sorts. I have tulips and daffodils, parsley and ivy. A little green, yellow and red goes a long way. Additionally, I need a feel good playlist. I listen to upbeat songs, my favorite songs...it doesn't matter, as long as they make me feel good.

The most important remedy for this dreary situation is to be surrounded by love. February 14th has always been a favorite day of mine, mostly because my family (my dad) always made a big deal about it. But, now, I use it as an excuse to tell everyone around me how much I love them. I got really lucky this weekend and was surrounded by cool people that really made me happy. I got to see my awesome German friend Kathrin who lives too far away and who has become a really great friend of mine. I spent a lot of wonderful quality time with Peter, cozy in our house full of flowers. And I got to see a couple other friends who made me smile! People are the cure to the mid-winter blues!

I am so lucky to have all these wonderful people surrounding me. My whole family was together this weekend, like always on the weekend of Valentines Day, for P.A.M's Run. My cousins planned another amazing event this year and almost everyone turned out for it. I wanted to be there with all my heart and I hope that everyone knew that and felt it. I felt the enthusiasm of this wonderful and inspiring event all the way over here. And it made me feel both sad to miss it but also really lucky to have all those people in my life. I have a wonderful and loving family! I am so glad!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you have a wonderful day, full of love and happiness. And, even if the sun is hidden behind the clouds, I hope it's full of sunshine!

Erfurt- Ein Ausflug

This weekend was Peter's big 2-1! Of course, that means diddly-squat over here. But that didn't stop us from celebrating or from treating it like a special Birthday. "To drinking beer with my parents (in the U.S.)" seemed to be the toast of the weekend.

To celebrate and to do something (affordable) just the two of us, we took a day trip to the nearby city of Erfurt. Erfurt is an old East German city, about an hour north of our home. It has a long history and is well-know as place of historical interest and great beauty. It was established and first documented in the 700s and grew so large that the old-city had to be expanded and now contains two walls. Martin Luther once called the city home and it contains the oldest synagogue in Europe!

Die Stadt hat uns sehr gut gefallen! We sure did enjoy it. It is full of history and quite exquisite. The focus of the city are the two massive cathedrals towering side-by-side on the top of a hill, looming over the city (this effect is especially ominous--or mystical, depending on your beliefs--at night when the fog rolls in). The city is set up in a more Southern European style than most German cities, with many small squares dotted throughout. Although the DDR removed many of the cities historical buildings while it was still intact, much of the medieval architecture remains. Almost every other house Peter and I saw looked like it had been blown around a little too much in the wind and leaned like the Tower of Pizza. In addition, the city boasts an amazingly charming river, lined with cafes, restaurants and homes.

Peter and I made many plans to take all future visitors there, so if the prospect of seeing us isn't enough to get you over here, maybe a visit to Erfurt is. We had a lovely, romantic time and think that the city must be even better in the summer when we aren't freezing our asses off (it was -7 C when we went). Additionally, there is a town not too far from Erfurt, Weimar, that is supposed to be even more beautiful that we need to check out. But, if you are in Bayern and looking for an excellent day trip, Erfurt is it!