Friday, June 27, 2014

Back from hiatus (the last 7 months)

Top to bottom, left to right: Valentine's Day flowers on a lovely day I never got to say thank you for; a coffee and a cake at the most adorable cafe; a gate in my new neighborhood; a weekend getaway; this morning with my best friend at Christmastime; spring in Germany; a day trip with a good friend who moved away; the sun setting in Paris; packing my bags for that trip; and meeting my mom there; my man JJ at Christmas; early summer in Nürnberg; a corner of my new home; the Eiffel Tower and me; fresh mushrooms from the farmer's market; Fränkisches Bierfest and some delicious red beer; World Cup public viewing; Beer festival; another bier festival ;-) and my mom and aunts visiting Germany! 

I have started this post and ended it almost a million times, not really sure where to start, what to say, what to share and what not to.  I have been putting it off, but I feel like every day my desire to write and share grows stronger and stronger.  So much has changed in the last 7 months and in my struggle to process it all, I have started to miss having this space.

I wish I could say that all of the changes were positive, but that's just not the case.  They were at first; I stopped writing at first because I was just enjoying things so much that I didn't really want to spend the time on my computer.  But then, as quickly as that started, it was gone.  I found love again and then I lost it....again.  And for all the ways that I know I am partially to blame for that, this time around has been the most devastating, heartwrenching experience. The previous heartbreak compounds this one and it's all been almost too difficult to bear.

In the last few weeks, I have slowly started to come out of the heavy fog of it.  I am starting to see things more clearly and understand not only some of the mistakes I made, but also the changes I need to make in my life and the person I want to be in the future.  My heart still hurts, but in a way this has been good for me, a wake up call of sorts.  Perhaps, at some point soon, I will share a little more.

In the meantime, I have compiled some pictures which represent moments that I have been particularly thankful for in the last 7 months.  These are the little glimmers of light in the dark and I feel blessed to have had these lovely moments.

Oh, and I moved, yet again.  I love my new place and am so, so, so glad I have it!  Here is a sneak peak, with more photos to come soon!

No comments: